If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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