When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize