Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
