just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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