next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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