Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
