after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
