Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize