does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
