i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
