You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
