Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I need to stop coming to work sober
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
