there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
