When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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