Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
