like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
