I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
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I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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