he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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