do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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