But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
