Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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