ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
