so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
