just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
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We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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