I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
