So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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