I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
