you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
