I need help removing her.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize