I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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