why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
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the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
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Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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