throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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