Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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