normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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