What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
