Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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