Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
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Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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