whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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