Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
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She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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