Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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