dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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