Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
