To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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