she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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