Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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