His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
why do cheetos always look like penises
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
