Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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