i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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