That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
