they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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