If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
