I need help removing her.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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