dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
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