I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
