i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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