But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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