he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
