the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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