So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize