is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
