I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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