already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize