Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
