i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
