So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
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I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
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I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize