she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We got so high we made milksteak
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
